Accountability is a difficult thing for us all. Accountability means having to take ownership for yourself: for your problems, for your goals and dreams, for your responsibilities, and for your daily actions. Owning the reality of our lives is a daunting, and sometime downright terrifying thing to do.
But doing so will change your life and how you live it.
In my profession, the vast majority of people I meet with for initial consultations (during which we take body fat measurements, weight, and circumference measurements) are all reluctant to look at their own realities and look at the numbers that come up. It's a sensitivity issue for some, as I very well know personally, but it is akin to looking into the mirror and seeing our reflections.
The conversation will usually go something like,
"Oh man, I don't want to see that scale number.
I've been bad this past week/I was on vacation/I drank a lot last night at dinner/I am on my period/I am ____ etc. etc."
Our automatic instinct is to provide an excuse or deflection as a self-defense mechanism. We intrinsically feel a need to create that buffer, so that we can avoid the feelings of not being "enough." I so very dearly wish we could change that entire dynamic and feeling. And we can.
Why not try OWNING your reality?
Let's take weight loss and fitness as an example.
About 85% of people I know would say they want to get more in shape or lose some weight/body fat. Sure, they might want to somewhere deep inside, but do they really want it?
Saying you want to lose weight and get fit equates to a non-negotiable lifestyle change: some sacrifices with food and creating time to exercise. If a woman wants to lower her body fat down to 16%, she will not be able to sling back multiple beers every weekend and be a couch potato, unless she is a genetic mutant ninja turtle (don't we all wish).
Here's the kicker though: Why is it that YOU want to be 16% body fat?
Sure, it's an awesome goal, but if you just think it sounds good but aren't willing to put in the work for it, do not set it as your goal. Own your reality that, no, that may not something you realistically want for yourself. What you want is to be able to go to an Italian dinner with your friends and eat the pasta and pizza without being that annoying person that says, "I really shouldn't be eating this." What you don't feel like giving up is that Netflix marathon with your boyfriend eating Chinese takeout on a Friday night.
And that's okay. Take these two simple steps to start looking in the mirror and getting real with yourself. Scary, yes. Creating self-growth, definitely yes.
1. Set Realistic Goals:
If you're setting a goal that does not match your behaviors, you are setting yourself up for failure. You only get what you put in- goals are EARNED and ATTAINED, not given. If you're not willing to make those adjustments to accomplish your goal, your goal needs adjusting. And that's not a bad thing.
2. Be Honest with Yourself:
Firstly: ask yourself, why are you doing this? Why is it that you want it? If you can't come up with an answer for those questions, it's time to start redirecting focus.
Secondly: are you complaining about a situation that "can't be helped?" Be honest with yourself, are you putting in everything you can to alleviate your situation? True, some situations are what they are, but there tends to be some wiggle room if you are willing to look.